did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
