I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize