you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My breasts were aching with rage.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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