Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
