is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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