I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
false alarm, still single
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize