I wish they made helmets for livers.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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