I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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