I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize