so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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