oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
