I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
