hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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