Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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