its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i wish my penis had a tongue
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
