This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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