hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
