i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That accounts for only three of the penises
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
