He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
