I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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