College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
