THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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