So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
