Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
