I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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