Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
