you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
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I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
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I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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