Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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