Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
