have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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