Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize