just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
