at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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