When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
