I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
sex in a hospital.. check
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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