we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I deserve this hangover.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
