Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
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He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize