he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
