When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Randomize
