I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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