thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
