belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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