It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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