bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
