Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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