Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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