Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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