I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
