The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
