Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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