So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
