Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
