Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
