I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
