I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
