Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He had one of those small greek statue penises
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize