found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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