i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
