i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
