Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/werm
  Replies (9) Good night (969) Bad night (1991)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s http://tfl.nu/wt0n
  Replies (28) Good night (5106) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know? http://tfl.nu/j2zq
  Replies (50) Good night (7020) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Come see our sink grown plant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Come see our sink grown plant. http://tfl.nu/3v5r
  Replies (25) Good night (4364) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat http://tfl.nu/a753
  Replies (18) Good night (5431) Bad night (2806)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you. http://tfl.nu/pv3c
  Replies (9) Good night (7576) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it http://tfl.nu/no3b
  Replies (14) Good night (1824) Bad night (4737)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar. http://tfl.nu/7dw6
  Replies (5) Good night (2430) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in. http://tfl.nu/jhqc
  Replies (7) Good night (3978) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe... http://tfl.nu/oipp
  Replies (13) Good night (1172) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (351): View more from Massachusetts

  I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (351): I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh. http://tfl.nu/v1ee
  Replies (1) Good night (991) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want http://tfl.nu/luqp
  Replies (7) Good night (1114) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces http://tfl.nu/ks18
  Replies (6) Good night (1084) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance http://tfl.nu/8es4
  Replies (7) Good night (427) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her

  (845): View more from New York

  You mean sponsor?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her (845): You mean sponsor? http://tfl.nu/42k1
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (495)

Randomize