you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist