I wish I could punch you in the face.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
