Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
