Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.

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(407): Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer. http://tfl.nu/hnl7

Replies (5) Good night (1728) Bad night (3039)
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(716): View more from New York

i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave

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(716): i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave http://tfl.nu/v8cs

Replies (39) Good night (917) Bad night (4941)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?

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(506): He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up? http://tfl.nu/8v8k

Replies (20) Good night (979) Bad night (6248)
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(207): View more from Maine

Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.

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(207): Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/f26o

Replies (43) Good night (12074) Bad night (1498)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?

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(605): just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl? http://tfl.nu/v0ft

Replies (10) Good night (5268) Bad night (943)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.

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(630): Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren. http://tfl.nu/fimu

Replies (12) Good night (2115) Bad night (1703)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...

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(419): You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter... http://tfl.nu/2dxo

Replies (10) Good night (1674) Bad night (849)
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(310): View more from California

I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.

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(310): I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too. http://tfl.nu/waf5

Replies (2) Good night (1456) Bad night (625)
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(925): View more from California

She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set

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(925): She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set http://tfl.nu/ske1

Replies (6) Good night (726) Bad night (1889)
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(519): View more from Ontario

There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.

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(519): There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause. http://tfl.nu/1uor

Replies (0) Good night (706) Bad night (747)
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(503): View more from Oregon

there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.

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(503): there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose. http://tfl.nu/3zcu

Replies (1) Good night (1007) Bad night (620)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.

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(712): Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking. http://tfl.nu/ew1c

Replies (5) Good night (1495) Bad night (668)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...

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(270): What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me... http://tfl.nu/bzfn

Replies (4) Good night (780) Bad night (443)
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(805): View more from California

I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.

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(805): I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you. http://tfl.nu/8wct

Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (335)
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now

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(857): i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now http://tfl.nu/deer

Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (145)

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