Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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