We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
