He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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