You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
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Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
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