Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
