why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
