direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
